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An Hour With
BubbleGum Slut
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Leave No Trace
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Librium
– How it all began
A long time ago in a
far away land; a land of frozen lakes, fiery mountains, and large scaly
dragons, lived a brave knight who went by the name of ‘Brave Knight
Sami’. His days were spent haggling with the trolls at the local
market, picking berries to stew and make lager, fighting dragons
(obviously) and toning his musical skills on his electric lute. |
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Many
cycles of the moon then passed and Brave Knight Sami grew tired and
bored of the land in which he resided, and, he quite fancied learning
another language, so he buggered off across the ocean, in search of
adventure, and less scaly dragons.
After being blown off course
Brave Knight Sami found himself in the dull hostile land known as
Heathrow Airport, a mystical town with giant metal birds, that ate and
then regurgitated people to a so called set timetable, but they never
followed it! Within minutes of arriving, Brave Knight Sami realised that
he must find a job as there were no berries to stew into lager and the
markets charged shit loads for basic essentials.
After working for some time, sorting letters for the giant metal birds
to take to far away lands, a special parcel arrived that would change
Brave Knight Sami’s life forever. Brave Knight Sami was given the task
of finding the owner of the parcel and delivering it. And so, Brave
Knight Sami’s quest began that very day, and he never looked back.
Several months passed and Brave Knight Sami’s quest was becoming too
much for just one Brave Knight. He needed the help of others. So off he
travelled to the land of Camden, to peruse the inns where the berries
had already been stewed and the lager that they had become was sold by
trolls at high prices, to find other brave knights who could help him in
his quest. It wasn’t long before he met Gallant Knight Jon as he
jumped in to fend off an illegal late night cab driver, who was offering
to supply a ride home for Brave Night Sami, in return for exceptionally
large amounts of money. Brave Knight Sami was really impressed with the
way Gallant Knight Jon fended off the said Cabbie with his magic bass
and instantly asked if he would join him in his quest. Gallant Knight
Jon took up the challenge like a true hero. Sacrificing hours of
sleeping time to join in the quest. So there it was, two brave knights,
(well; one brave knight and one gallant knight) enough berries, which
could be stewed into lager and one quest.
But then it happened, like a bolt of lightning from the sky; up in the
distance they could see the end of their quest. The finish…the
goal…the grail. As they approached they began hearing noises…voices.
“You’ll never reach your goal without rhythm, you’ll never reach
your goal without rhythm” in a perfect 4/4 beat. Brave Knight Sami and
Gallant Knight Jon were so in awe at the beautiful timing of the voices,
they went to investigate. Through great forests, and over great rivers
they travelled in search of the voices, until they came across a Wizard,
drinking lager stewed from super strength berries and tapping with his
wand in perfect rhythm. “I am Wizard Charlie, and I have predicted
your need for rhythm, which is why I called you to me” he mumbled.
“It was your voice!” said Brave Knight Sami. “You will need my Rhythm in
order to get to your goal” replied Wizard Charlie. Brave Knight Sami
and Gallant Knight Jon took Wizard Charlie up on his offer and carried
him away off on their quest, despite the fact that Wizard Charlie was
already with a band of men on another quest. “Fuck it, doesn’t
bother us!” Gallant Knight Jon had cried when presented with this
fact; and that was that. Librium was formed. A pact was made and a bond
forged between the three of them to make sweet sounds and take their
music to all corners of the Earth until there was no-one left who
hadn’t heard them.
(And if you were wondering what happened to the original quest they were
on? They got bored and jacked it in!) |
